четвъртък, 11 октомври 2012 г.

Lord, have mercy on the strong!

                                                               Dick’s prayer from the novel “Haze”
                                                                                     From my novel “Haze”

Lord! I do not understand the world, I do not understand the people, I do not understand why I have pain, I do not understand why they have pain, I do not understand why I live. Do you understand, Lord?

You keep silent.

You certainly do not understand me, but at least do you can see that I see? Do you see that they die of famine? Have you ever been hungry?

You keep silent.

Oh, God! Can you hear what they are saying? “We must live!” They want to l i v e! Can you understand what it means to feel like living? But how could YOU understand if you are E T E R N A L! How could you understand that someone clenches his teeth and strains himself to break free from the loop? But the more he strains himself the more the loop tightens and he begins to suffocate and turn blue, his expression is distorted, his eyes jump out of his head and his gaze gets mad and desperate. But he goes on straining himself because he believes that if he stands a little more… And the stronger and tenacious he is, the longer he tries and the more the loop gets tight and the more it hurts! Oh Lord, do you know what it is like to feel pain? Lord, do you know what it is like to feel pain?

You keep silent!

I am a stranger to you. But I am begging for them.

Lord, have mercy on the strong!